This oughta be a fun one. Supah and Mommybrain have given me an open ended line of "cyber credit" this week for Meme Monday to buy whatevah duds I want for my wardrobe. I am so excited and I have spent days shopping, paring down my selections so as to keep within the 5 item limit. (even though I know Supah will cheat and have like a dozen things and she will justify it by putting them in different categories and crap like that. It's OK though because I know in my heart I am above board.)
~~First stop on my spree is The Spanx Store. I've been told that even though I look like this:
If I smash my enormous ass in to one of their contraptions, I could look like this:
sounds like a fish story to me, but hell...so did Phen-Fen and I tried it, right?
~~Next stop Nordstrom for some of these:
I watched Kate Gosselin the other day and she said if you wear heels you look skinny. So from now on, I will wear nothing lower than a 5 inch heel. I think my gut looks smaller already!
~~ I went to Amazon for my next purchase. I have decided I am an addict. I have tried to quit cold turkey. I have tried to wean. I am in the process of moderation and control, but some people just have their burdens they must carry and mine is Coke Zero (with a shot of Diet Coke, easy ice and a squeeze of real lemon...from a fountain). This will make my like much easier.
~~My next purchase was one that Duke will be so excited about. This will help me in so many ways! At night, on long drives (and short ones), during scary movies....
Look how feminine they have made them! NO more shame in wearing one of these ladies!
My last stop is in preparation for my trip in February. The tickets have been purchased and the plans are set for our yearly "island retreat". This year will will take our cruise to Mazatlan, Cabo San Lucas and Puerto Vallarta. I am sure I will need one of these:
P.S. I am a bit edgy tonight and ready for some changes. Not only am I not going to promise a post every day (screw NaBloPoMo), I am removing DISQUS (gasp) for a while to see how I like the Google format. I know some of you will be thrilled and some of you will not. I will ask that you please your email in your Blogger profile so that I can reply to your comments. If you need to know how to do this, email me and I will explain it to you. If I find that I have too many readers without email enabled I may have to take drastic measures and revert back to another commenting system. I am too opinionated not to be able to reply to my readers comments. It's the controlling side of me speaking so there.
40 crazy comments. I'm still waiting for yours!:
I want one of those hats, but can I have mine with diet dr pepper instead of coke?
I think those expensive heels make people skinny because after they buy the shoes, they have no money left for food.
Obviously, I shop at Pay Less.
And HOORAY for google format!
(Jill doing the happy dance)
Heels make my legs look good, but that's not that hard to do since I have such awesome legs.
I love them all....and I think they would all look stellar together..so I am praying that we'll get to see pics of you lying on the beach with your diaper, high heels, spandex and sombero...(the coke hat will have to be only when the sun goes down..I don't want you getting sunburned)
I want those frilly balls underwear. They are like Manties but better.
I had a problem getting past that woman in the spandex...LMAO
Will the Spanx squish up the contents of your diaper too much?
I want the Spanx. Must have it.
LOL I love the underwear!!
I need that hat, but I will put Diet Mt Dew in mine. CANNOT survive without it!
I think my email is already enabled....if not, I will be here awaiting my ass kicking.
1. To save you some trouble....spanx is all a lie. Plus, it prevents you from breathing.
2. Heels make my ass slightly less hideous....which doesn't really fool anyone. They also make my husband more amorous....which we all know is annoying. (No honey, I am NOT your hookah and I do not want to yell it out. I already have a daddy, so no.....you are NOT my daddy. Hurry up. I want to watch Grey's Anatomy.) *actual transcript from previous "session"*
3. Those panties remind me of the ruffle ass lacey panties my mom made me wear when I was a little girl. Did ya'll wear those? Or is it one of those southern bell things? Did you wear the ruffle socks too?
4. I'll take one of each of those hats, but mine with Diet Coke please. (And something fruity with an umbrella after dark...or before dark...or for breakfast...or all day....cuz you're taking me with you on your trip, right?!) *insert big brown puppy dog eyes*
Chief--
I AM SO EXCITED DISQUS is gone! I tried to comment yesterday on a post you did and also let you know there's an award for you at my place---but Disqus ate my comment twice ina row and wouldn't let me....so now you know! Hooray!
Love this post. Was ROFL!
tying our the new comment format.
the diaper looks like it's made for men.
I love heels! My clumsy ass can't walk in them, but that's the price you pay to look good, right?
I'm sure I have something somewhere in my house that goes with your sombrero. Can I come on your trip? Please?
Chief...I posted a comment and Google ate it. I never really have problems with Disqus, but I always end up with a Google situation! LOL
Anyhoodle...my comment was something like this.."Those are some sexy undies, Chief. Duke might not ever leave you alone again. Or he might run away forever. I don't think there's middle ground there."
I hate spanx. I always feel like I have wrestled an alligator by the time I get them on.
Whew... I'm so glad I'll be able to comment now. That other thingiemabobby ate 9 out of every 10 comments I tried to leave...the fat bish....
Anyway, what I really want to know is how those slimming denim jeans got rid of the spandex camel toe?
Chief, that superwoman pic was for your eyes only. I don't appreciate you posting that pic of me on your blog lol.
Let me know if u can't email me. Sometimes it seems to work and sometimes it doesn't
YEAH! The old way is back!!! I LOVE it.
Those heels were way hot. But then again so was the pink feminine protection system you got going going on...LOL! I'm trying to be sarcastic I don't think it's working. Thanks for posting... I love it when you post, You are so funny!
What a fun meme! I'm tempted to try it myself:) Except then I might be tempted to spend "real" money...
Love the cruise hat:)
OK SO I REMEMBER WHY I LEFT GOOGLE AND I DON'T THINK ITS A HUGE DEAL BUT IT MIGHT STILL BUG....
WHEN I RESPOND TO YOU THROUGH EMAIL, IT DOESN'T POST IT HERE. DOES ANYONE REALLY CARE? DO PEOPLE READ MY REPLIES TO OTHER PEOPLE? JUST WONDERING...
You're back to the Blogger comments! Yay! But it's still the sucky embedded box, where I have to click the publish button a million times because of some stupid error.
Anyway, I one bought one of those Spanx body suits, and it just squished all of my fat out of the top, all in my armpit section. It was awesome.
Damn, I wish I looked that good in jeans.
I miss Disqus. I miss reading your witty replied.
:-(
I think I have email enabled. I don't know. I am such a rookie.
I want the beer hat! love it!
I have to have one of those Coke hats! The more Coke the better! And the diaper, it's pink and all, but it looks like it's for a man!
Oh my, no wonder I'm still fat! I haven't tried the Spanx yet. And I really do need some of those pretty diapers. I have got to remember to get over here to your blog more often. So stinkin funny. I need to tell all my peeps to enable their email too. (Wonder if mine even is, I think so...)
Love the list!!!
I like this comment thingy more better!
Those are some super duper sexy panties you have there.
I think high heels do make you look ...maybe more ...pulled together. But skinnier? Not to sure about that one.
The chick that wore the spandex and has no shirt on is TOO skinny!
no kidding - enable the damn email people!!!!! how frustrating!
Ok, laughing - need me one of those pretty pink depends!
Okay, I just realized that I need the ruffle panties to read your blog! I also would like to know if you still look skinny in heels if you are sitting in a wheelchair with a broken ankle. If so...I want me a pair of those!
Those heels are killah ... fairly certain I would get some strange looks toting a newborn in a sling, holding the hand of a toddler, and trying to navigate the puddles in those puppies ... but they are gorgeous!
I am not a fan of disqus at all so your switch back makes me happy!
I like those shoes you picked and I love Spanx!!!
WHERE IS MY COMMENT??? I GOOGLE COMMENTED THIS MORNING AND IT IS NOT HERE AND IT WAS FUNNY
I DID IT RIGHT AFTER PRINCESSES.
SOB.
Oh yeah...I like this much better. I learned the hard way that other comment venues suck pond water. ;)
Those frilly diapers look a bit scary... ;)
Don't Spam my Blog or I will cut your testicles off with a butter knife
I love that meme! Too funny! And, as per normal procedure you were totally practical about everything... ;-)
You getting rid of Discus just made me fall in love with you that.much.more.
And go for the heels and spanx together! Can't go wrong there
High heels, two words: Chinese footbinding...are those comfortable to ANYONE!!????! I am one onry person if my feet hurt, seriously is it THAT important to look sexy that you must deform your feet?
I took that cruise!!! Sadly, I didn't have that hat. sigh. either of them, for that matter =)
Say hi to Puerto Vallarta to me, when I grow up, I'm going to be rich and famous and buy a home in Puerto Vallarta. You'll see.
Happy Sits Saturday Sharefest...I think that is the proper wording...I haven't had my coffee yet.
..and i am watching my hubster down his 1st coke z of the day.
Have a great weekend
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